Legal Team Says Singer’s Weight Loss Journey Proves She’s Not a Gluttonous Pig
In a shocking turn of events, Lizzo’s lawyers have denied allegations made in a recent lawsuit, claiming that the singer’s weight loss journey proves she’s not a gluttonous pig.
According to sources close to the situation, Lizzo’s legal team is adamant that their client is not a “fat” person, despite her previous claims of being a “big girl.”
“Lizzo is not fat, she’s just… uh… vertically challenged,” said one of her lawyers, who asked to remain anonymous. “And her weight loss is just a result of her dedication to her craft and her love of kale smoothies.”
The lawsuit, filed by a group of disgruntled fans who claim they were misled by Lizzo’s “body positive” message, alleges that the singer’s weight loss is a result of a secret diet and exercise regimen.
But Lizzo’s lawyers are having none of it. “Lizzo’s weight loss is a result of her own hard work and determination, and has nothing to do with any secret diet or exercise regimen,” they said. “And even if it did, that would be none of our business.”
The lawyers also pointed out that Lizzo’s weight loss is not a recent development, but rather a long-term journey that she has been on for years. “Lizzo has been working on her health and wellness for a long time, and her weight loss is just a byproduct of that,” they said. “So, really, this lawsuit is just a bunch of sour grapes from a group of fans who are mad that they can’t get tickets to her sold-out shows.”
In related news, Lizzo has announced that she will be releasing a new album soon, which will feature a new single titled “I’m Not Fat, I’m Just Fluffy.” The album is expected to be a chart-topper, and will likely be the subject of much speculation and debate in the coming weeks.
